Oh, for the love of God.

I know that my parents like to practice Catholicism and all... but why is it they want us (their children, that is) to be the perfect Roman Catholics? I guess the way they were raised, religion was a big part of their life and they relied on it in various situations and circumstances. I know they still do look to God for help and work hard to get what they want. Even though I go to church every Sunday and do the sign of the cross every night before I go to sleep, I'm not sure if I can call myself a true Catholic. I'm not even sure I want to be a true Catholic. I don't even know what it means or takes to be a true Catholic. I just happened to be born into a Catholic family.

Anyway, my parents tend to use God as an excuse to not let me be a normal, 21st century, American teenager. Soon enough, I'm not even gonna be a teenager. But as long as I'm still living here I know I'm still gonna be treated the same way. At one point I thought that they'd treat me differently as I got older... but I guess I was wrong. Not because I think I'm old enough to go out at night or whatever, but because I know my 22-year-old brother isn't allowed out late either. Sometimes he's outside the house hanging out with the weirdo neighbors and my mom tells me to call him and tell him to come inside the house because it's late. Last time she told me to do this was on a Friday or Saturday night a bit before 10pm, and I said something like "Why? We don't even have school tomorrow. Does it matter that he comes inside a little later tonight?" She just said something about how God wouldn't want him out there that late and that he needs to be home because he'd just be out there saying "bad things." I also remember this one time when a couple of my friends were over and we were planning on going to the movies together. I asked for permission and they said no. I asked why I couldn't go, and they said that I couldn't go because that is how God would want it. I get that they believe in God and all, but why would they say something like that? Would God really not want me to have a good time at the movies on a Friday evening with my friends?

Also, I have a question for anyone who might wanna tell me the answer. Y'know how we have to confess our sins at church or whatever..? Why is it that we have to share our sins with a priest? Don't we all supposedly have a direct connection with God or something? Can't he hear us if we pray besides our beds and ask for forgiveness for our sins?

I had to go confess the other day. Apparently, I'm supposed to truly regret all my sins in order for them to be forgiven. Truth is, I don't regret anything I've done in life. I believe our choices make us who we are. Even if a person did make a "mistake" in their life, I'm sure they learned something out of it. I guess I'm one to believe that there are no mistakes; only lessons learned. If that's the case, then none of the sins I've committed are mistakes. I don't regret them at all. That means I don't need God's forgiveness, right? I'm going straight to hell, right? Ahahahah. Fuck Luther! Can't I just pay my way into heaven, since I don't regret anything I've done? Hahaha, I'll stop talking blasphemy. I promise =X.

Anyway... I guess God's a cool dude. I'm not sure I wanna be part of a specific religion, but I'll respect that foo. His fan club is just too obsessive and extreme for me. They're the equivalent to those crazy obsessive Twilight-reading, Robert-Pattinson-dick-sucking girls we see nowadays. At least Harry Potter fans have a better handle on themselves. Lmao, I don't even know how I went from talking about God to this. Somebody's gonna read this and kick my ass one of these days.

I'm not quite done writing this blog, but I'll publish it anyway. I know I have more examples of my parents using the "God wouldn't want you do that" excuse.  I just can't remember them right now.