Maybe it's because I don't really have friends or many regulars at ELAC, so there's less people to laugh with or even talk to in class. Most of them already have cliques of their own and it seems like it'd be uncomfortable joining a new circle if they already have their own inside jokes and unofficial traditions. I mean, I'm not really a shy person. It's just really hard for me to make friends sometimes.
Maybe it's the teachers. Not to say ELAC has bad teachers or anything, I just haven't had any like the ones I've had in the past. They were the kind that, even if you weren't really into the subject, they made you not hate it as much as you would've with a regular ole' teacher. Grandpa Woessner, for example. You can tell he loved what he did and that he truly cared about his students. Just the little things he did like keeping individuals after class just to talk to them about how bad they've been doing and wondering why they do it, or compliment them and letting them know that he's proud of them... or that day nearing the last day of school when he gave all his seniors roses and gave a little speech about each one of them. Even the way he went about teaching the class and scaring the shit out of people while pretending to be some historic character. Or teachers like Ms. Gardocki, who would write advice to you on your journal entries and talk to you about it if you were comfortable enough with her, rather than just skimming through it and giving you credit for having done your assignment. Then there was Mr. Bennett... boy, could you tell he liked what he did. He didn't seem to just teach for the sake of teaching either. I loved the way he'd get all happy and excited when we brought certain things up, and suggest that we make a survey about it. Then there was Rocha... that asshole. I can see myself being the way he was with students too, though. Boy, did I love to hate him. I didn't even want to cry at graduation til is saw tears on his eyes. Ah, and Buchman. What a sarcastic and handsome old man. Hahaha. Anyway... I haven't really felt any sort of connection like that with any of my professors here. The ones involved in the arts (my dance and theater teachers); I can tell they're really dedicated their professions, but they don't make teaching their priority unless they know the person is heading in the same road of that art. I guess I don't mind. I'd probably do the same. Haha. The others just seem to teach because it pays the bills.
Maybe it's because I was always involved in some sort of activity and; therefore, always had something to do. I was always at school because of band and drumline, but I didn't really mind. For the most part, I had fun there. Plus, it meant being home a lot less. My house is so boring. And since my parents were so strict about letting me go out sometimes, they just assumed I was at band practice when I'd go out with friends on weekdays. I was always at football games or rehearsals on friday nights, but I didn't really mind either. Anything to keep me out of my house and with people that made everything fun, or at least interesting. Boy, those were the days. Now I'm not really involved in anything, go out a lot less, and I'm home most of the time. It doesn't help that the school day is half as short as school days were in high school.
I've also sorta talking to a few people here and there in classes, but not to the point where I can call them my friends. I don't even know their names. I guess another thing I liked about high school was the small learning communities. You really got to know the personality of everyone in your class. Those of you that were part of my particular Humanitas classes know what I'm talking about. We all knew that Jose just knew everything about everything even though he had his silly moments. We knew that Little Mayra would always be there to make a little feminist chicana comment. We knew Ricky would always be there talking about how people don't know how to wear Hollister properly. We knew that Verduzco and Elizabeth would always be the shy ones in class. We knew Zack would always have some sort of unique story to tell or a smartass remark to give to a teacher. We knew that Virginia just loved to speak out about topics that always ended up making her cry. We knew that Jovanna would make some comment about love. We knew that Chris was the outgoing pseudo-chauvanist twin while Art was a bit more shy just kinda went with the flow. We knew that Lunchbox would be able to make a Chuck Norris joke out of anything or make references to The Office. We knew when Lizeth had something to say she'd speak out about it very expressively. We knew Jason would always be there because he wanted 4 years of perfect attendance and that he loved Batman. We knew Andrea would always be there to make some sort of comment about animal rights and would always be by Jason's side. We knew that Natalie was always a fun person to be around, no matter what. We knew that Joana was outspoken and kinda religious. We knew Jonathan (even though he wasn't officially Humanitas I always considered him one of us) would always be wearing something from Cal while procrastinating with homework from another class and making comments about Andrew Jackson being a demagogue. I probably forgot to mention a lot of people, but yeahh... It's pretty evident the way everyone had something to contribute to the class. I'm not even sure what role I played, or what the hell I was known for doing. Anyway... I guess my point was... that I haven't really had anything like this at ELAC. Like, even though they weren't all my best friends or anything, we all knew each other's characteristics, which made it much more special.. or interesting... or something...
At first I was only gonna write about how my life after high school as been so boring. I guess this blog evolved into something else. I guess I'll just conclude this saying that I kinda miss the way things were done in high school. I always had something to do, the teachers rocked, the people I knew were awesome, and I was hardly at my house. Yeah, I've been looking for a job to keep me busy and get me some money to buy essentials. But I haven't really gotten any calls from places or anything, so ehh. Things will probably get better next semester or next year (I hope), but for now I don't like it. I guess I'm just not getting the whole college experience because I'm going to a community college and it's really close to home. Also, my classes were much more challenging in high school. I only wish I did better in them. I think the one thing I do like that I can make my own schedule now, rather than being super mad at the counselors for screwing it up. Haha.
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