People at libraries should be more literate

Okay, maybe that title's kinda mean. I apologize.

If you know me pretty well or follow me on Twitter or DailyBooth, you've probably noticed that I visit the library a lot. If I talk to you regularly, you probably know the type of people I run into at the library. I'm flattered that somebody would go out of his way to write me a note and/or talk to me. Really. But I always laugh at the type of people that seem interested in me. I know this isn't the first I've talked of this, but it gives me something to write about and maybe have a little laugh at. I don't know if I feel bad for making fun of these guys or not. Anyway, I wanted to talk about two people that have confronted me when I've been at the library.

Library guy number one. If you haven't seen this video, go watch it now because I don't wanna type the story. The guy I'm talking about in that video is the same one I'm referring to below.

Since this guy was so eager to contact me on MySpace, I decided to take a look at his profile when I got home that day. Even though a lot of people have totally different identities on MySpace than they do in real life, you do learn a lot about them through their profiles. Some of them are just a total lolfest. Here are some things I found on this library creeper's profile.

This guy's name is Johnny and he lives in two places. Probably leading a double life. His headline makes me wonder who this so-called Jason is and what he's got to do with natural organic hair products. Maybe it's his alter-ego. I'm not sure which one lives where, though. Don't worry, Johnny. Your secret's safe with us.



I scrolled down a bit and found out that yes, he will. Only me. Zero Nine Two Two. Perhaps he shares a birthday with Tom Felton.



That's his About Me. If you're too lazy to click and read it, just know that the first and most important thing he wants you to know about him are his birthday (which is already in his URL), and the fact that he can type really fast without looking at the keyboard. He also lets us know that he lives with his grandmother and tells us who lived in the back of his residence and when they moved out. He goes on to inform us that he has soft hands and juicy lips and gives us a very concise history of his parents' relationship. After that, there's some sort of fragment saying "HONDA-CRV 2009." The end. Thank you, Johnny...or should I say Jason? I feel very enlightened.


This is his favorite book. It's pretty safe to assume he went to a midnight release party when its sequel, "More Natural 'Cures' Revealed," was released. Maybe he even got to meet Kevin Trudeau himself there!

Library guy number two. I was about to sit down and read Little Brother on my netbook when I made eye contact with a guy sitting a few feet away from me. He wasn't hideously ugly, nor supre cute. Just kinda meh. He looked like he was doing some sort of math or science work. I dunno. All I know is he had a calculator on him. About two hours after I got there, I decided I wanted to go home, so I packed my stuff and headed outside. I stopped by this tiny store outside the library where they sell cheap books that no one wants any more to see if I found anything interesting. When I was in there, I noticed that guy look towards my direction and walk outside. He seemed to be stalling. As I walked outside, he tapped me on the shoulder, and said "for you." He handed this note and walked back inside:

I was about to take every sentence in that letter and be my stupid/smartass/sarcastic self analyzing that shit... but I'm feeling too lazy. Just take a look at it and see for yourself.

Sucks. When he tapped my shoulder, I was thinking "yay. this guy's gonna talk to me." Then I heard the accent he said "for you" with and was skeptical about him. Some people have thick accents but are still decent with language, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. When I opened the letter I had a total FML moment. Hahaha. I'm such a bad person. And to think I'm always complaining about how nobody likes or notices me. Like my mom always tell me, soy pobre pero delicada! (I'm poor but delicate. I guess that saying is a cousin to the English saying "beggars can't be choosers.")

Question: If I e-mail this guy back (for the lulz), what should I say? Leave a comment!